Vergil's blog
by Verte114
Summary: My foolish, idiotic brother infuriates me more and more each day. I swear he has the attention span of a gerbil as well as its intelligence level. In order for me vent my frustrations I decided to make this blog and share it with whoever may find it.


April 27, 2012

My foolish, idiotic brother infuriates me more and more each day. I swear he has the attention span of a gerbil as well as its intelligence level. In order for me vent my frustrations I decided to make this blog and share it with whoever may find it.

Today started as any other day normally would. I awoke early, had breakfast, showered and fixed my gorgeous hair. I return upstairs to my room to retrieve my cellphone and IPod only to find 23 missed calls from Dante as well as numerous text messages I had yet to read; all from him. After returning his call, and after he talked for a half hour about the pizza he had for breakfast, I proceeded to lock and secure my house up. (I have to hide food I have on the kitchen counters otherwise Cerberus will get into it.)

Before I left my driveway, I decided it was in my best interest to send a text to Dante, telling him I was on my way. I know from previous experience that if I had not, I would have been waiting for him, at his house, for at least an hour, all the while my gas just burns away. Once at his house, I sent him another message to inform him of my arrival. Minute after minute went by and after 25 minutes, he finally emerged from his house and entered my car. After waiting that long, anyone would wonder what took him so long. I questioned him about it as I drive down his street, back towards my house, all the while he calmed that he was 'fixing his hair' and 'wanted to look nice'. How he looked 'nice' was unfathomable to me. He looked as he always does, his hair hanging in his face like a sheepdog, and pizza grease on his gloves and tattered red coat. The whole way home, I had to bare the stench of sex and alcohol that radiates off of him from all the whores he pays and talks into 'entertaining' him.

Once back at my elegant home, Dante did not, nor has he ever had, a problem throwing open my kitchen cupboards. The way he goes through my food reminds me of a stray dog looking for scraps in an old dumpster in some alleyway. Much to my regret, he found one of my cake mixes. As he proceeded to make said cake, still without my permission or approval, he pulled out one of the most hideous things I have ever had the displeasure to see. It was one of Patty's pink fuzzy headbands. I stare at him, half in disbelief, half amused, as he places the pink fuzzy atrocity on his head. As I held back my laughter, I questioned him about it. He told me it was to keep the hair out of his face and the cake batter. What dumbfounds me is that if he did not wish to have his hair in his face, then why not cut it or slick it back like our father? We maybe twins, but Dante is a specimen of this world that I will NEVER understand.

As Dante continues to bake the chocolate cake, while refusing to remove the hideous headband, I decided to turn my attention to my cat, Shilo. (Shiloh) Picking up a shoelace, I dangled the simple object in front of her and she pawed at it. It intrigued me to no end. How could something that is little more than a string, bring any creature so much joy and entertainment? Maybe the same thing will work on Dante…. Hmmm..

*Note to self: Test how simple Dante's mind truly is.

As the cake is in the oven, we decided now would be a good time to restock our supply of devil stars. I retrieved the special material from my bedroom upstairs and we soon had our work station set up at my kitchen table. Because Dante's lack of skills, I was left with all the main work of making the devil stars. I have to draw, and cut out the stars on the material, pin them, and sew them. Even with the little work Dante had of turning the stars right side out and stuffing them, he continued to complain about it, which did not surprise me in the least.

Once our devil star supply was restocked and the cake was done, we decided to go shopping. (Whenever he comes over, I always seem to have to refill my cupboards.) After re-securing my house, we proceed to my car. All the way to the store he kept wining about my driving abilities. His ear splitting voice rang in my ears like nails on a chalkboard. 'You're driving to slow!' 'Can we stop for ice cream?' 'Are we there yet?' 'That guy just passed you!' 'I could run faster than this.' I had to remind him that I was going the NORMAL speed limit. This is why I must drive him everywhere. Because EVERYTIME he gets his license, he speeds and gets it taken away. As an example, he once went 60mph down a 25mph street. One more thing you should know about my foolish little brother, not only is his music choice atrocious, but so is the volume of which he has his music. So the whole way to the store he wasn't only wining, but YELLING over his music. Why he simply did not turn down that noise he clams is music to talk is beyond me.

*Note to self: See if they make mute buttons for people. Dante is in need of one, as is Patty.

At last we arrived at the store and for a moment I was spared anymore ear splitting noise. As we entered the store, a human child was coming out with its mother. The small creature looked at me, and then proceeded to cry. How my great father could have liked these sniveling creatures is beyond me. I believe I have a better chance at understanding my idiotic brother, than to understand why my father would waist his power on them. The crying child reminded me of Dante when I would tell him no pizza or ice cream that day. Dante murmurs 'way to go Verg. That stick is so far up your ass that it's coming out of the top of your head and scaring babies.' I decide to ignore his comment, as I had argued with enough idiots that day and did not wish for another engagement.

As we made our way to the center of the store, Dante grabbed my arm and pulled me down isle after isle before stopping so suddenly, I crashed into him. He excitedly pointed at a cloth hanging from a rack. It turned out to be a towel. The print on the towel made me wonder if that headband really was Patty's or not, for it was a My Little Pony towel. The pony on it, that Dante called Princess Celestia, smiled back at me mockingly. I had to resist the urge to slice the insulting piece of fabric into unidentifiable pieces with my beloved Yamato.

'Can I have it bro? PLEASE!' My eyes widen as I looked horrified to my brother. How he found any remote attachment to such an insulting thing was, and forever will be, a mystery to me. I sent him a death glare before walking away. I could hear him follow me and glances back, pleased to see that he was empty handed. 'But Vergil, friendship is MAGIC!' I stopped dead in my tracks and quickly turned while summoning up my magic blue swords. "If you wish for magic, I can grant you that wish." I said as my blue swords came deadly close to his face. 'I'm good.' He said, holding his hands up surrendering. My swords disappeared and we continued to my main goal.

Once in the fabric section, I found a thick, sturdy material. I had planned to reupholster that hideous couch in Dante's shop. The disgusting thing might as well be one big stain. Between all the things he does on that couch, that I will not mention for the sake of your sanity, it has been in need of being reupholstered for a LONG time. And even Dante won't be able to argue about it, with the red material I discovered.

Once we FINALLY located an employee to cut the material for us, Dante kept 'distracting' her. Why he feels the need to flirt with everything with a reproductive organ is a mystery to me. All I wanted was to get the fabric cut so I could go home and have a relaxing cup of tea, but whenever I attempted to regain her focus, Dante would interrupt with more flirting. It must have been at least 15 minutes before she cut the thing, and even when I was done with my shopping, I had to DRAG Dante away from her. I swear all the brother of mine thinks about is pizza, ice cream and sex. We maybe twins in appearance, but that is ALL we are twins on.

On our way to the checkout, Dante gets distracted (no surprise there) with reading birthday cards. In an attempt to better understand his simple mind, I picked out a card at random and opened it. Much to my surprise, it started to talk and sing. With my intellectual level I know for a FACT that cards can NOT talk, or sing for that matter. Therefore the only logical conclusion is that there was a demon inside the card, possessing it. Just as I'm about to slice the demon filled card in half with Yamato, Dante intervenes as always. I give in. If he wants one of his little humans to get attacked by the demon card, so be it. How he goes out of his way to kill demons, then turns around and puts his precious humans in danger by not letting me kill the card demon is odd to me, spatially after the Temen-ni-gru incident. He did all that to save the human world, but he's ignoring a threat when it's right in front of him. He's such an infuriating little brother…that damn devil.

~~~ Author Notes ~~~  
Hey guys, this will probably be the only notes I'll have for ya for this lil story/blog/thing, just cause I don't want them to take away from Vergil's blog or the mood. But I just wanted to tell you in case you were wondering who is doing whose blog or how we're doing them. I (Seif114) am responsible for Vergil's blog and all its contents. GaeIggy is working on Dante's blog. How we do it is we come up with the same basic ideas, and timeline, and then work on our own. That way, it really is coming from two different people. Kinda like the two sides to a story type of thing. GaeIggy is having issues with her Microsoft word at the moment, but as soon as she gets that fixed, she'll post Dante's blog. I hope you enjoy and be sure to check out our other stories, both on our shared account as well as our individual accounts.

Please review, it motivates us to keep going. :)


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